There is a fundamental flaw in the human design, and that is the fact that we need. We have a need for food, for water, for sex, drugs, and music; we have a need for need. Need is what drives us, what sustains us. We can never have enough knowledge, enough food, enough company, enough acceptance, enough approval, enough authority. We need community, even though sometimes we don’t want it, or sometimes we feel that we don’t belong. We need to be listened to. We need to listen. We need to have two ears and an open heart balanced by one voice.

I have recently had some some personal revelations after the loss of a family member. I had unresolved issues of blame, and misplaced guilt toward my dad, and inevitably toward myself, and in the face of grief, I became disconnected. “How does a community hold itself together?” I would ask. Maybe if we reach out to the farthest one away, and pull in, it would strengthen us all.  Maybe in doing so we strengthen our understanding of ourselves and realize our authenticity.  We are afraid to know ourselves, because that can be an ugly reality that we are afraid to face. We are afraid to be ourselves, because we don’t truly trust one another. And why should we? We haven’t proven it yet. Trust is earned, it’s not a given, and we haven’t earned it from each other.

What’s missing is wholeness; Oneness. Not “we are all one”, but the uniqueness of every individual as being part of the whole.  It takes work and time to get there; several drinks before that conversation, and we’ll find that place, and create the space, with two ears, and an open heart, balanced by one voice.